Co-relating this with that

It has been a long time…

Jagadeesh Krishnamurthy — Fri, 29 Jan 2010 20:03:28 +0000

It has been a really long time since Sruthi and I have posted anything here. It maybe because of our lack of time or interest or suitable topic that made us shy away from such an interactive and interesting medium of communication. I had the urge to key in a few words here, since I read my friend’s post who also revisited his blog after a long time with a good post, and my cousin is starting his own blog today (hopefully!).

Anyway, this post is a general rant and there is nothing to be discussed here, except that I wish to start writing more regularly. Hopefully, my partner-in-crime, Sruthi will also join me in creating a few more sub-links to the blog.

See ya.

Jaggu

I’m ‘Okay’ed by Men! As if!!!

Tue, 19 May 2009 07:38:42 +0000

While walking from the railway station, a couple of young chaps who were sitting on a bench leaned back and told me, “Okay”. They were okaying how I looked. I retorted that “I didn’t ask for your certificate”. I mean, who are they to okay me? Do females who are out, going to school, work, hospitals, and shops need to be scrutinized and okayed by cheapskates who think they have every right to sit, judge, and pass comments on every woman who passes by? This is not an isolated incident. Many men have okayed me and many other women many many times. But you know, its not okay. And I’m not okay with it.

What makes men think that they have to, and they can okay any woman on the street? What inflated ego makes them feel that their opinion on my (and other women’s) looks matter? Are all women mere objects whose looks can be judged and is open to comments by any other man on the road? It reminds me, when I was 21, I’ve been eve teased by a kid in 5th standard. I know he was in 5th, because right after that the school bell rang, and when I chased him, he ran into his classroom.

My friend says that I am over sensitive. If I respond, they will repeat it again and again, and they will try to harm me. I do not discard his caution, but the same words of caution by mom, dad, grandparents, brothers, and sundry that has made it okay to okay, eve tease, ogle, and grope women on streets and in public spaces. Its like this – I am assaulted. But I should not respond, because if I do, I will be further assaulted.

I think this is not a fair world to live in, if every moment I have to live in the fear of being assaulted verbally and otherwise, by all men, starting from 10 year old kids. I am tired of being scared. I am not sure I want to live with fear all the time. But I have to, because I was born a female.

Sruthi Herbert

Rape of a TISS student

Fri, 17 Apr 2009 05:56:15 +0000

This is a post stemming from acute frustration.

I cannot help feeling shaken up by the reports in the media on the rape case of a TISS student. Being an ex-TISSian, and being all too familiar with the campus, its free spaces, and the relative insulation the students in the campus experienced from the society outside, I cannot help feeling a shudder pass through my spine.

I have seen TISS campus, Deonar, Chembur, and some near-by places at night, I have had drinks with my friends outside, I have seen the city at as late as 2 P M at night. I have felt the dread – felt that had it been with anyone else other than my most trusted friends, this city that is famous for its night life may pounce upon me and violate me.

However, having to imagine that this could have happened to me too because I too have been one of those people who have dared to stretch the limits of the freedom makes me convulse in an eerie pain and revulsion. And as I go through the pain that makes me feel one with the victimized girl, I think, ‘Will this world ever change? Will the girl ever get justice? Is justice ever possible in such a case of violation? What was it that led the accused to assume that it was alright to violate a girl this way? Her skin colour? The notions about a woman with a white skin? Her relative anonymity to the city? Or simply her being a woman, a mere passive object? Where did these young men learn that rape is acceptable? Has the society sanctioned that kind of violence against women? Or, hasn’t it?’

Goddess, will this world ever change?

Footnote: This is not to say that rape in other parts of the country and the world is less gruesome. Just that when it happens in places and spaces where one is so thoroughly familiar with, it becomes an intensely personal experience. May be, the failure in addressing such issues is this very thing – the lack of identification with the victims until and unless it becomes so personal.

Women and Men in the world

Thu, 19 Mar 2009 09:32:21 +0000

I have been upset the whole day. Allow me to tell you why.

You may laugh it off, like my colleague did. Or dismiss it as being from an unsound mind. But I need to tell this to you. This is about women and men.

Today:

I was waiting for the train with dad. Dad’s friend stopped by to chat. Both of them being very active members of the Railway Passengers Association, dad told his friend that I have been saying that the ladies’ compartment is very crowded and ladies need one more compartment. (Currently in the train I travel in, it is one out of fourteen – less than 10%). Dad’s friend said that it is unreasonable, especially because women don’t come forward for any of the programmes organized by the Association , and therefore they don’t deserve a share of the hard-won gains of having 14 compartments (it used to be 10). I told him that that is not correct, and why women don’t come for the programs is because they have a lot of work to do at home after they return from office, and a dharna or meeting by the Passengers Association is not a priority for them. Then he said that all women do is to put on their face powder and go out. I was offended that all the labour that women do at home of preparing food for the whole family, washing and hanging out clothes, and cleaning dishes is forgotten, and their work was reduced to ‘putting on make-up’ and ridiculed. I said that in that case, all men do is to sip tea and read newspaper…

Few days before:

I went to a fabric shop to buy clothes for my sister’s wedding. After I tried on a saree, an uncle who had come with us commented that I was too fat, and looked too bad in saree. He kept on telling me how fat and ugly I had become, and how I would find no suitors because I look so bad. And also why I should not wear a saree for the wedding because though I am younger to my sister, I will look like her aunt.

Putting today and few-days-before together:

To women: Men want a woman to look good – it is important to watch your weight, groom yourself, and make yourself presentable. And if you don’t, men don’t want you – there will be no takers in the marriage market. You are undesirable. This is what not only men tell you directly, but the numerous advertisements in the media tell you ever other minute.

Again to women: Though men want you to look good, they will ridicule you for trying to look good. But don’t feel bad about it. Just because they are men, they assume that have the right to tell both the things. But well, ignore them.

In a nutshell : Men will decide how a woman should look. But even if you act on their decision, you will still be ridiculed for you being ‘beauty conscious’.

Other reflections: What do people with a patriarchal mind-set (shaped by the patriarchal system which makes women’s labour so irrelevant) know about the amount of work that most working women put in – cooking, cleaning, washing, grocery shopping, taking care of children, their studies, and so on? It is inhuman to shrink all that work into just one small phrase of ‘putting on face powder’.

Parting shot: I am thankful to one of those understanding men in my life who didn’t ridicule it when I told him that I have been upset and frustrated because of the completely un-understanding people that some men are. Thank you for asking me to write rather than remaining frustrated.

Footnote: I have never been fat – always having been rather thin and unhealthy, I have been recently eating a lot to gain health – I just had a life-threatening infection. Yes, for someone of 158 centimetres height, I weigh 58 kilograms, and if I don’t find a groom because I’m overweight at 58 kgs, to hell with the grooms in the world!

Sruthi Herbert

Post – Mumbai attack

Mon, 01 Dec 2008 08:20:23 +0000

The terrorist attack on Mumbai has taken the city by storm. After 59 hours, combined action of the Army, NSG commandoes, and the Mumbai Police have put an end to the siege on the city.

There is a lot that the two and a half day long episode makes one reflect.The first and the foremost being the irony of the fact that while the Home Minister of Maharashtra R.R. Patil said that it was not an ‘attack on Mumbai, but an attack on the country’, only a few weeks back, Raj Thackeray had unleashed venom and claimed yet again that Mumbai was the exclusive property of Marathis. The latter sentiment was acted upon by some fellow Maharashtrians to attack non-Marathis, leading to a terrorism of another kind. As I type this in the backdrop of the terrorist attack on Mumbai, I pause for a moment while typing this in memory of those lives that were laid down fighting fidayeens without linguistic and regional discrimination. I wish those spirited men and women of Marathi valour would also pause and reflect.

The second point that I would like to dwell upon is the irresponsible and exclusive reporting carried out by some ‘news’ channels. One bemoans the fall in the nature, function, and purpose of ‘news’, as well as the poor meaning that journalism has come to take in these days of abundant ‘news’ channels. It surely is the function of news channels to take information to the people, and sensationalism may be a part and parcel of journalism, even admirable to some extent. But the kind of journalism of collecting scoops by exposing oneself to danger when there are terrorist indiscriminately firing away, and celebrating the shrapnel wound or gunshot inflicted on oneself by mindlessly exposing oneself to danger seems to be nothing short of foolishness. Questioning the common sense of the audience was the live reporting with the reporters crouched on the ground (to say nothing about the abysmal and unsubstantial reporting that simple could not go beyond the visuals that were run over and over again) and the accolades showered on those irresponsible journalist-gentlemen as ‘courageous heroes’. I am reminded of the saying that ‘Courage is nine-tenths context. What is courageous in one context may be cowardly in another, foolhardy in yet another’. The reporting I have referred to seems to fall in the last category. One can hardly fail to see the difference between walking in unarmed to a lion’s den and fighting the lion with bare hands when it has pounced from behind.

A journalist friend of mine was outraged at my comments. He believes it to be a function of the media to give information about whatever they want to the audience. But I ask, is giving information a simple, mindless, purposeless activity, an activity for its own sake, and an end in itself? Is there a need to have a purpose for even journalistic courage – like for example, the courage of the journalist to be a journalist in Manipur? Or for example, like publishing a one paragraph report on the skyrocketing price of food in Manipur, for which the editor of a newspaper paid with his life?

Last, but not the least, remarkable in the series of events that unfolded in the wake of Mumbai attack, is the principled stand of the wife of Late ATS Chief Hemant Karkare, who refused the monetary assistance offered by Narendra Modi. Such noble gestures in the face of enourmous personal loss is the finest tribute to the departed soul and his memory. Salutes, madam.

Sruthi Herbert

I am to blame

Jagadeesh Krishnamurthy — Sun, 30 Nov 2008 05:07:37 +0000

Post the terror attacks, I can see a lot of similarity in thoughts amongst the various columnists across media houses, writing off the politicians (so-called leaders) of the country as “toothless leaders” and calling for “tough action” from the already distressed citizens. This tamasha, if I may call it, of “calling for a change” has become a regular affair after every event of such magnitude which involves the lives of many. However, these columnists should understand that nothing has come out of it even after decades of writing about it. They should now resort to some other tactic of ‘taking on’ the politicians and other people involved in these to bring them to book.

The multitude of forums and conferences have no bearing for the common man, and it is useless till something substantial comes out of it. I cannot fathom why these “independent thinkers” and “experts” from varied fields who talk all day from television sets and write edit pieces urging people to get together and set an example for the others to imitate. Why cannot the media houses, forgetting their competition for once, stand united to come out with a solution that has been devised by these experts. Since, they are asking the political parties to do the same – stand united during a crisis.

As someone said, “In a democracy, you get the leader you deserve”. It is a fact that some are waking up to. The text messages and email forwards against politicians, following the attacks, are great but will not serve any purpose if they are just left in their inboxes. They need to instigate an emotional connect that transcends across religion, geography and socio-economic classes, which we are subjected to in today’s times. People should not just forward these messages to their near and dear ones, but also take up some sort of an action by coming together for the same, including me.

The pertinent question I end up asking myself is – Why cannot the educated class or the true leaders of Indian economy and society stand up for their rights and help others fight for it, rather than just talk about people fighting for it. I, for sure, believe that everyone is influential. There is no such thing as an influential class. Every person born in this country, or for that matter across the world, is influential enough in his or her own way to dictate the country and shape their lives around it. It is just that they will have to think of the collective good and not just individualistic pleasures and fantasies, even if that means comprising on some aspects.

Here, in this present generation, we want everything to be “done”. The attitude is , “It is their job to do these, why should I get my hands dirty doing it”. I agree that it is not your job, and you are contributing to the society in your own way. But you are shying away from your duty of not looking into the problem and addressing it. It is the duty of every citizen to try and upkeep his home – living place, community, locality, city, country, and the whole world.

If people start believing that “I” can change the society, and come together to form a “We”, then I am sure that all of us will have a better place to live in.

—

PS:

The question on everyone’s mind who has read this would be — “What have you done for this?”. To be honest, I have not done anything as of now other than what hundreds of others have already done – write an article on the much needed change in mindset. Though, I sincerely hope, I can contribute in some manner for bringing about this change. Please do let me know of any projects undertaken by anyone that I can consider to be a part of…

Maximum City (MINUS WOMEN)

Fri, 10 Oct 2008 09:01:18 +0000

For long, I’ve been drafting and re-drafting the e-mail that I would send Suketu Mehta. It’s prompted by a nagging unrest about his Maximum City. In fact, since the last two months before which I finished reading the book, it has refused to leave my mind that Suketu Mehta has described a city with many men – filmmakers, policemen, thugs, gangsters, ordinary men, and some women – the sister of a filmmaker, the wife of the policeman, the girlfriends of the thugs and the gangsters, and a prostitute. Apart from that there is a damning absence of women. There are no ordinary women in the book – those who live their lives sometimes within the family, but still lead a life. And those who jostle in the crowd and go to work and juggle a family and a worklife. And those who decide so courageously to defy some conventions and redefine the family and the role of the woman. There is the man who travels in the local train, but there is no woman in the public space at all. Here, he has painted a city without women who give meaning to the world – be it in the roles that they play in their daily lives, or the roles they don’t play. Indeed, doing a gross injustice. For after all, if you don’t count the presence of women in Mumbai, where in the rest of this country (here, I talk of India) will you count them? However, it is hardly surprising, given that women have a history that still continues of being invisible and insignificant, or being made invisible and insignificant.

I am outraged that such a book where a gaping vacuum remains has been critically acclaimed. I wonder, are all the critics men, or are some of them women moulding themselves to fit in the man’s world? Now, I’m not only outraged, but also puzzled.

This is not a criticism of the book, per se. Because all the nice words have already been written. I don’t have time for the niceties –yes, there is this book embellished with catchy and sometimes very accurate phrases, an impressive style of narration, and an apparent ‘objectivity’ of the narrator. But Maximum City is nothing but a description of the man’s world. There is nothing in the book that a man cannot understand, and there is nothing in the book that a woman can understand.

Here, ladies and gentlemen, is a truly reductionist book – Maximum city (Minus women).

And if you have it, can you give me Suketu Mehta’s email id?

Sruthi Herbert

Falling in the trap of deadlines

Jagadeesh Krishnamurthy — Sun, 28 Sep 2008 03:04:14 +0000

I asked my co-ranter Sruthi to post my next piece here. But, she chose to ignore me for reasons better known to her.

Anyways, I have been pressed for time over the past few days and nights with office work. All thanks to my folly, and bad time management skills. I have (hopefully) understood the meaning of “adhering to deadlines” as told by bosses over the past few years. Once upon a time (till a couple of months back), I used to be proud of my punctuality and consistency in delivering my work. However, I feel, complaceny has kicked in or I am bored with what I am doing. Whatever be the case, with each passing day, I have been trying to postpone my deadlines, which is really unlike me.

What I need is a sharp crack on my knuckles to wake me up from this slumber of passion-less work to make my life a little more organised and punctual. Not just for my sake, but for the sake of others working around me. I hope, I will start sticking to my deadlines from now on…

'I love Deadlines' by Skylark 93

I don’t know whether I will stick to my “deadline policy” henceforth. As of now, I am NOT doing that. Otherwise, why would I write these here, when my boss is expecting my articles to come in…

Somethings change, and I like it that way!

Regards,

Jaggu

PS. I do hope that if some of my future bosses, if and when they do a background search, understand the meaning of this post. Some statements are never meant to be explained.

The Times of India

Thu, 25 Sep 2008 11:31:02 +0000

And then, there are those words

Worth flushing down the drain.

So hollow, they float, stink,

Spread the stench.

Sruthi

P.S. A personal opinion of not only a particular newspaper that churns out trash, but also of a culture that it has influenced.

Better living?

Jagadeesh Krishnamurthy — Mon, 22 Sep 2008 18:58:26 +0000

Work

To do: Loads

Effort: Maximum

Ability: Dunno

Returns: Infinite

This was something that I wrote some weeks ago on my ‘To do’ list while I was taking stock of my workload.

I am fortunate (as of now) to work in an organisation that allows me to “work” from home whenever I feel like. On an average, I end up doing that once in a week atleast. All my friends and cousins, obviously frustrated / jealous with this habit and luxury of mine, sometimes end up giving lectures on the need to go to office and work from there. And, my usual answer is, “Why do we work? To earn money. And, why do we earn money? To have a fulfilling life. If my way of fulfillment is to sit at home on a monday morning, then why the hell shouldn’t I?”

I still cannot comprehend why so many people end up working such obscene hours of time in a week, with absolutely no social life. I know many people, with whom I have been working with closely over the past couple of years, whose personal life is interspersed with their professional life. I sincerely believe, there are more things in life other than fame and money. Most importantly, there are personal relationships which have been built over years, if not decades of closeness – be it relatives or even friends.

First, people have to realise that “money” is not the sole criterion for a good life. There are zillions of factors attached to it that have to fall in place for ensuring peace and harmony in your life.

In many homes, there is a classic case of ‘As you sow so shall you reap’. If you are admitting your kids to creches for their upbringing, in your quest for a better living, then how can you expect them to have sympathies for you when you grow old and are a burden for them in their quest for better living? I am not saying that everyone is doing this, but this is the general trend with working couples.

And, I am not saying that females (as in previous generations) in the family have to sit at home and take care of the kids. But, I am urging everyone to give these a thought and find solutions for grooming the next generation to realise the potential of true “better living”.

—

Jagadeesh